Serendipitous or Synchronous or both?


So here it is…today I had lunch with Father Paul Bresnahan.  He’s great.  Which means I agree with almost every word that comes out of his mouth.  No, seriously.  I am sitting in the deepest gratitude for the people I’m meeting in making this film.  Read his web site to find out what I’m talking about!  http://www.frpaul.com/ I mean, I know there are good people everywhere.  It’s just the opportunity to talk about spirituality with people who live it wows me.  Amazing!

Yes, I know, my last post was all about Buddhism.  Now I’m back in love with the Episcopals.  If meditation gave you bad moods, wouldn’t you flip?  Actually, the bad moods seem to be passing.  Now I’m calm.  I have a deep fear of becoming boring.  Because you know, that may be the only problem I have never had.  Still, I’ll probably get off the computer and meditate.  See if I can bore myself some more.

Anyhow, enough about me.  I met Father Paul because one of the Associate Producers on the film works in Salem, and through a random series of events, ended up performing in St. Peter’s Episcopal Church.  He emailed me right away to say how gorgeous the church is, and that he’d met a woman who told him Father Paul would love the film.  So, lunch.  Talk about Leviticus, about the marriage of sexuality and spirituality, about how standing up for your gay children may cost you your job.  All the good stuff.

And it brought home that I need to drop all embarrassment about asking people to donate to this movie.  As the bisexual daughter of a closeted lesbian mother, I know what prejudice can do to people trying to love each other, I know what secrets can do to a family, and I know, above all things, what it is to be pronounced equal and to realize that no matter what you’d fought for, or said, or done, on some level you didn’t believe it until Justice Marshall wrote it into law.  “We in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts are not in the business of creating second class citizens.”  Thank you, Justice Marshall, for changing my life.  Thank you to the people of Massachusetts, for leading the way.  Or, as the Buddhists say, may all beings be happy, may all beings be free from suffering, may all beings be free to love who they will.

Thank you, Father Paul, for proving that human nature holds so much good.

The Zen of ?


I have been reading about Buddhism.  And listening to web recordings on Buddhism.  And meditating.  And doing yoga.  Almost daily.  Let it not be said that I do things halfway.  Of course, Buddhism seems like it should be about moderation, so there might be hope.  Not that I’d count on it.  Counting on it would be attaching, right?  Which would mean I’m not learning about Buddhism.

The title of my interest in Buddhism is: Am I Capable of Calm?  Like the alliteration?  (I always have to point out my alliteratives.  That’s my ego.  It’s not very Buddhist.)  Anyhow, obviously the answer to “am I capable of calm?” is not in yet.  Because for one thing, I get in really bad moods after I meditate.  I feel great while I’m sitting there doing nothing and saying nothing, but afterward everything my partner does really drives me crazy.  I can only hope that she’d drive me more crazy if I wasn’t meditating.  I don’t want this to be one of those things she asks when she comes in the door, like, “Did you eat chocolate today?”  Chocolate also gives me bad moods.  Can you imagine?  Her coming in the door, saying, “Did you meditate today?  I just want to know so I can decide whether I need to go out to the movies and avoid your meditation hangover”?

But I’m supposed to be writing about making a movie.  I figure that anything even pseudo-religious is applicable to the subject matter.  It doesn’t have to be Episcopalian.  I can be an uncommitted person reading about Buddhism and write about being an Episcopalian minister.  I think.  And anyhow, what my other question is (besides whether or not I am capable of calm) is this…is there such a thing as Zen and Making a Movie?  I just googled it and I’m not convinced there is.  Zen and Making a Movie as a web site should say that it is possible to make a movie without becoming a sleazy schmoozing workaholic with a stress problem.  Instead, if you meditate and read about Buddhism and listen to on-line dharma talks, you will calmly assess the situation and every time you get stressed you will go back to meditating, doing yoga and listening to on-line dharma talks.  You will not lose 15 pounds.  You will not stop sleeping.  You may have bad moods after meditating because you are really and truly weird, but they will pass quickly.  After all, dhuka is.  (That means life is suffering.  Buddhism is really very positive.) (No wonder I have bad moods after meditating.)

Here is my third and final question:  how much will I regret it if I post this?

Answer:  Be like the Buddha.  Don’t get attached.  Let go.   ZZZLLLLLIPPPPP……

Back to the film and fund-raising!


Well, after three oral surgeries and more mishagas than I care to think about, I AM BACK TO FUNDRAISING FOR THE MOVIE! I have recently been reminded of religious intolerance and oppression, and my commitment to making a movie about the nature of love as tolerance and understanding has deepened. Fundraising requires boldness, commitment…and I keep thinking about how to explain how important movies are, how they live in our conscious and unconscious minds, how they de-sensitize us in both good and bad ways…I think the American cinema needs to be reminded of the truest human concerns–the ethics of love and family, how a religious community can both remember and forget its values. I created this story to investigate the possibility of bridging different points-of-view within a family. I wanted to see if I could make my characters keep trying to reach each other no matter what. I wanted to see if they could make it through their differences still loving each other. That seems to me so essentially the moral struggle of family, so deeply resonant to our human fears of loss and abandonment. Can we love each other enough? I think we need a film that says, “yes.”