I have been reading about Buddhism. And listening to web recordings on Buddhism. And meditating. And doing yoga. Almost daily. Let it not be said that I do things halfway. Of course, Buddhism seems like it should be about moderation, so there might be hope. Not that I’d count on it. Counting on it would be attaching, right? Which would mean I’m not learning about Buddhism.
The title of my interest in Buddhism is: Am I Capable of Calm? Like the alliteration? (I always have to point out my alliteratives. That’s my ego. It’s not very Buddhist.) Anyhow, obviously the answer to “am I capable of calm?” is not in yet. Because for one thing, I get in really bad moods after I meditate. I feel great while I’m sitting there doing nothing and saying nothing, but afterward everything my partner does really drives me crazy. I can only hope that she’d drive me more crazy if I wasn’t meditating. I don’t want this to be one of those things she asks when she comes in the door, like, “Did you eat chocolate today?” Chocolate also gives me bad moods. Can you imagine? Her coming in the door, saying, “Did you meditate today? I just want to know so I can decide whether I need to go out to the movies and avoid your meditation hangover”?
But I’m supposed to be writing about making a movie. I figure that anything even pseudo-religious is applicable to the subject matter. It doesn’t have to be Episcopalian. I can be an uncommitted person reading about Buddhism and write about being an Episcopalian minister. I think. And anyhow, what my other question is (besides whether or not I am capable of calm) is this…is there such a thing as Zen and Making a Movie? I just googled it and I’m not convinced there is. Zen and Making a Movie as a web site should say that it is possible to make a movie without becoming a sleazy schmoozing workaholic with a stress problem. Instead, if you meditate and read about Buddhism and listen to on-line dharma talks, you will calmly assess the situation and every time you get stressed you will go back to meditating, doing yoga and listening to on-line dharma talks. You will not lose 15 pounds. You will not stop sleeping. You may have bad moods after meditating because you are really and truly weird, but they will pass quickly. After all, dhuka is. (That means life is suffering. Buddhism is really very positive.) (No wonder I have bad moods after meditating.)
Here is my third and final question: how much will I regret it if I post this?
Answer: Be like the Buddha. Don’t get attached. Let go. ZZZLLLLLIPPPPP……