I can’t believe I’m journaling about this. I can’t believe the stuff I’m saying. I thought I was self-aware, but OH MY GOD I am more insane than I thought I was! Mind/body syndrome may lead to some other diagnosis. Like, very pissed off woman.
I am clearly very very very very very sick of trying to be perfect!
I rebelled so thoroughly between the ages of 15 and 17 and I have spent the rest of my life wishing I could just not give a shit on that level. Not that I’d have a career or a marriage or friendships. BUT, I probably wouldn’t have back or hip pain, either.
You do not want to know what I have to say on this topic.
Okay, you probably do.
But I’m not talking. Not tonight. I am going back to the journal to see what else comes out of my stream-of-consciousness rage commentary.
Metta, metta, for all of us who rage silently, trying so hard to be good.