Bathroom Performance Art or Why My Partner Has to Pee When I’m Doing Comedy


So last night I did a piece of performance art in front of the mirror with a tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush with toothpaste on it, and some spit bubbles.

Basically, I did a face like I was going to cry (which for some reason became very real), held the toothpaste and toothbrush in front of my face and weaved back and forth very slowly blowing spit bubbles.

My partner was like, “You know, I really have to pee.”

I said, “Quit interrupting my performance art.”

She said, “I still really have to pee.”

Then I blew a really big spit bubble.  She decided to go ahead and pee.

I tried adding this weird metal band balanced across my nose with all of the above.

She started flossing her teeth.

I said, “Ew that’s gross.”

She said, “You know, I was in the bathroom first.”

I went back to performance art and then, looking in the mirror, I thought I was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing.

She left the bathroom.  “Let me know when you’re done amusing yourself,” she said.

Back to normal.  Again.

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