So, I wrote this blog about what I wanted to do artistically, which inspired me to schedule the first meeting of an acting group in which we will play, make work, do improv–at least, that’s what I think we’ll do.

But then I was like, I want to do MEISNER!  So I emailed Julia Short to ask her about starting a 2nd group to do Meisner technique work and Viewpoints.

Then, the BPT called and offered me space to produce a play in the beginning of March.

Which means I better finish the play version of Saint John the Divine in Iowa (which I am now thinking of calling The Divine in Iowa or Divine and Gay in Iowa or some other title yet to be revealed) like, yesterday.

Normally it’s about 8 months to plan for a full production.  This would give us 3.5 months.  Not necessarily a good idea.  A ton of work.

Why do I wish for things?

And yet, I keep wishing.  I wish for a smooth production of the play version of SJDI, not in crisis, with actors I love to work with.  Lyndsay Allyn Cox will direct and she’s amazing, and Marc Ewart will produce and design, and he’s amazing.  But how can I make it perfect?

The C word again.  Control!

Should we even do the play on such short notice?

Will people come?

How will we pay for it?

I suppose a Kickstarter campaign is in order.

I like to take my time making these decisions.  I don’t like to leap this fast, when it might be ill-considered.  I also don’t want to miss this opportunity.  I don’t want to wait if it could be the experience I’ve been longing to have.


But, my partner got me to meditate this morning, and I think I’m going to do some more of that.

And I did write 20 more pages on the play, so that it’s close to a finished first act.

Yesterday I did acting work at Boston University with another Meisner-trained actor and though it was only a 45 minute film rehearsal, I had so much fun.  I mean, I love this!

Let me breathe, let me take my time, let me let go and see.  Let the answers come floating toward me out of the ether, once I stop my racing, certifiable brain and enter the world of the calm again.

Craving and aversion.  The causes of suffering.

When you know what’s right, in your gut, you can let go and trust.

I have to have at least a little time to listen.


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