Today I was supposedly not working while I organized a photo shoot, wrote 2 contracts, filled out the ticket types on another contract, applied for insurance, wrote ads for Meisner classes, etc, etc.
I am supposedly not working right now.
The suckiest thing about being the oldest of six children is this overinflated sense of responsibility. I wonder if there’s a contest for enabler of the year. I could apply. On the application there would be certain catagories:
- What you’ve done that other people could have done just as well.
- What you’ve done that other people could have done better if you admitted you didn’t know everything.
- What you’ve done that kept other people from facing the consequences of their choices and actions.
- What you’ve done that went so far beyond the call of duty it entered into the ridiculous.
- What you’ve done badly because your tendency toward multi-tasking led you to try to juggle fourteen tasks at one time.
I would like to state for the record that I hate over half the things I’m good at.
I would like to state for the record that I don’t know everything. And that doesn’t mean I don’t think I’m right.
I would like to state for the record that I have only told my partner that she should obey me without question twice in the last two months. (She didn’t tell the couples therapist. I think she thought I was joking.)
I would like to state for the record that I need a personal Shiatsu massage therapist to move into my house and give me massages instead of rent.
I would like to state that I am always terrified things won’t get done. I blame my German mother for this, as I do for pretty much everything.
So, as I continue to supposedly not work, I will also state for the record that the NE PATRIOTS ROCK! And they obeyed me without question when I told them to sack Tim Tebow. And the Broncos obeyed me when I told them to fumble. Seriously, I made these statements out loud, and then they happened. I would believe that I am crossing over into omnipotence except I couldn’t mentally get my partner to do my dishes today while she was home sick, so obviously I’m still falling short in that catagory.
I would also like to state for the record that I hate the last two weeks of December and can’t wait until they are over.
I am grateful for Julia Short and Joan Mejia. I don’t really feel a whole lot of metta today, but if meditation counts as work, I guess I’ll go do it.