I AM SUPPOSEDLY NOT WORKING


Today I was supposedly not working while I organized a photo shoot, wrote 2 contracts, filled out the ticket types on another contract, applied for insurance, wrote ads for Meisner classes, etc, etc.

I am supposedly not working right now.

The suckiest thing about being the oldest of six children is this overinflated sense of responsibility.  I wonder if there’s a contest for enabler of the year.  I could apply.  On the application there would be certain catagories:

  1. What you’ve done that other people could have done just as well.
  2. What you’ve done that other people could have done better if you admitted you didn’t know everything.
  3. What you’ve done that kept other people from facing the consequences of their choices and actions.
  4. What you’ve done that went so far beyond the call of duty it entered into the ridiculous.
  5. What you’ve done badly because your tendency toward multi-tasking led you to try to juggle fourteen tasks at one time.

I would like to state for the record that I hate over half the things I’m good at.

I would like to state for the record that I don’t know everything.  And that doesn’t mean I don’t think I’m right.

I would like to state for the record that I have only told my partner that she should obey me without question twice in the last two months.  (She didn’t tell the couples therapist.  I think she thought I was joking.)

I would like to state for the record that I need a personal Shiatsu massage therapist to move into my house and give me massages instead of rent.

I would like to state that I am always terrified things won’t get done.  I blame my German mother for this, as I do for pretty much everything.

So, as I continue to supposedly not work, I will also state for the record that the NE PATRIOTS ROCK!  And they obeyed me without question when I told them to sack Tim Tebow.  And the Broncos obeyed me when I told them to fumble.  Seriously, I made these statements out loud, and then they happened.  I would believe that I am crossing over into omnipotence except I couldn’t mentally get my partner to do my dishes today while she was home sick, so obviously I’m still falling short in that catagory.

I would also like to state for the record that I hate the last two weeks of December and can’t wait until they are over.

I am grateful for Julia Short and Joan Mejia.  I don’t really feel a whole lot of metta today, but if meditation counts as work, I guess I’ll go do it.

 

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