Yes, I may fall over dead from admitting this.
We are doing a couples spiritual practice.
Here I go. Falling over. Bleck. Urgh. Uck.
Why, you may ask, do I fall over from admitting this?
BECAUSE I AM WAY TOO COOL TO BE NEW AGE!!!!! I SWEAR! I MAKE FUN OF EVERYTHING! I AM THE QUINTESSENTIAL BAD GIRL!
And I get up every morning and do this thing called a renewal with my partner.
Who, by the way, I love. I am also too cool to admit how much, but I suspect she knows just from the way she looks at me.
And get this, the renewal practice really helps me. Not only be closer to her, but to live better.
I AM TOO COOL TO LIVE BETTER!
I’m still going to do it, though, because it makes us both happy.
Here’s the practice–
We get up. I refrain from commenting on her breath. We lie there in some kind of stupor with two hot water bottles and several Buckies (pseudo hot water bottles) all on my side of the Sleep Number Bed because I am always cold. I pull on my Snoopy fleece pajama bottoms. She puts on her glasses. Then we lie in a stupor until one of us says, “So, you want to do it?”
We answer four questions:
What can you admit you’re powerless over today?
How can you turn this over to some spiritual deity you don’t believe in for the next 24 hours? (Okay, that’s not exactly it, but the whole letting go and trusting that you don’t have to know thing…that’s the idea.)
What do you need to bring to the Light? (We take turns talking about things we’re ashamed of, which is always fun.) (Sometimes I like to talk about how great I am in this section, because, well, I mostly like to talk about how great I am.)
Do you recognize that whatever/whoever or some wise part of yourself knows all this about you and loves you just as you are? (Some days, the answer is a flat out no. This indicates staying in bed for at least 24 hours.)
Then we say metta for ourselves. Occasionally we actually get up and meditate.
And yes, there have been 12 step programs in my life. It took a lot for me to admit I wasn’t a deity myself, but eventually I had to do it because LIFE WAS KICKING MY BUTT.
Anyhow, I feel a very uncool tenderness for my partner these days. The life in her, the struggle, the uncertainty, the goodness…so much goodness. And my hope that she sees it.
Which does not mean I always refrain from talking about her bad breath. I mean, since I’m not a deity, I have to have some compensation.